White Supremacy & Me
Being a public servant at the height of a public health pandemic has been illuminating, frustrating, and a not so subtle reminder the greatest threats we face are not the unseen viruses of the world, but the unchecked beliefs of dominance and exclusion. I have had these conversations before in relation to social work and higher education, but this time I am holding a mirror to myself and the institutions I belong to.
I have been burdened by laws written by over opinionated white men, for over opinionated white men to protect over opinionated white men. Without getting overly specific, I have been troubled by the Open Meetings Act’s ability to enable a racist, harmful, yet tragic person all for the sake of public comment. The right to address public bodies is a critical one. It is one that I look forward to and that I value in improving the services that we offer as a state entity. But it also has created an environment where individuals feel comfortable targeting others, using unsafe language, and degrading the work of countless volunteers. I personally have been called a racist, threatened with legal action, and my own writing has been weaponized in ways to belittle me publicly.
The personal attacks are hurtful. I would be lying if I did not acknowledge the ways vitriol stings and sticks. But that is not what is pushing the pen at this moment. I am activated by the feeling of numbness to the issue and the reluctance to do anything about it. When your inbox is flooding because people don’t feel safe or because your peers feel the space is beyond control. That is when it sets in that I cannot allow one person to intentionally abuse their way into spaces, dominate the conversation, and use their hatefulness to provoke others yet not be reprimanded formally because they have yet to “breach the peace”. Or worse, waiting until they have escalated to a point where they can be removed from a meeting. By then, it is too late.
I cannot allow it. I will not allow it.
Trust me, I considered the potential of violating the law for the sake of proving my point. In my more right mind, I know what is at stake, what could be lost, and even more — what is maintained in that decision.
So what can I/we do?
Call a thing, a thing
Thirty three years of life has taught me to say racism and white supremacy without flinching. We have more than enough education and lived experience to readily identify injustice, patriarchy, and white supremacy but how often do we call it by name. I recall sitting on the couch during the Biden Inauguration, inspired because for the first time I heard white supremacy being treated as a threat to the country. Yes, this has been known quite some time but I had never heard someone intentionally saying it on this scale. We have a responsibility to take meaningful action by targeting white supremacists and the policies that enable and protect them.
Assess your own power and influence
Any time I have written one of these think pieces, my role and positionality comes across as nebulous. I didn’t want my job to know. Or I didn’t want people who I collaborated with to know that it was “that James Bell” who wrote it. I saw it as a potential barrier to my career trajectory or a risk with my current employer. Read this as — the bias of professionalism. I couldn’t continue to release podcast episodes every two weeks begging people to challenge inequality and to be truth tellers, and then not do the same between the hours of 9 and 5. I have come to understand (and appreciate) — I am a state government employee, with power, access, and the ability to change things. I have been leaning into that realization and recognizing the same way that I have upheld policies and practices that further marginalize or stigmatize, I am 1000 times more responsible for disrupting them.
Activate the allies
This is the moment you all have been waiting for. We all have done the diversity, equity, and inclusion training, stood up our workgroups, and created our strategies. These efforts will all fall short should you fail to see your role in eliminating this pervasive threat. Do not wait until after the meeting to say (Insert Person of Color name here) — “I don’t know how you are able to stay so calm or there is no way I would be able to take that”. You will fail to see my humanity, you will fail to see your duty to step in the gap for me. To call yourself an ally to “the work”, and then neglect the people and voices representing the work is a disservice and your allyship is nothing more than performative. Get out of the way if you do not understand your power or you are not committed to challenging the social norms that accept and perpetuate injustice.
Hold some space
I am uncomfortable. I know many of my peers are uncomfortable. I know people who attend these spaces are uncomfortable. And with my acknowledgement that things will not continue on as status quo — I want to recognize the discomfort and pain people have experienced. I have walked away from meetings feeling like an agent of oppression. I have walked away thinking that things will never change. But I want to be physically, mentally, and emotionally present for the difficult work ahead. I am inviting my colleagues to share how they have been impacted by white supremacy. I know they are out there — we have been in discussion about the unspoken costs of Black leadership. I do not want anything in return for this — this is empathetic and compassionate work, where we must accept the truths, no matter how ugly, or where we are positioned in it.
As I sit with the humanness, in the rawness, and realness of my own pain and discomfort, I see my reflection and my desire for healing. It is not difficult for me to share these moments or thoughts. I’ve considered the consequences — and it’s worth it. I want to be seen and heard, in order to reinforce the power I have found within myself. For so long now, I have parsed out bits of myself, as advocate, thought leader, podcast host, and public servant but I know going forward, all of those parts of me have to be a part of this discussion.
And though I agree it is not up to people of color to dismantle white supremacy, I can’t sit idly by anticipating and hoping for change. Not with the things that I know, and resources I have access to. I have a part to play.
Signed,
Dr. James Bell III, MSW
Michigan Department of Health and Human Services
(This document reflects my opinions and not that of my employer)
